So I am down in Utah right- studying for finals. Spending time with all of my friends. I am looking for a job here and in Idaho as well as Florida- I am getting sick of the snow and I have SOOO much family down there. I am staying with my wonderful friend Dannel whose husband Mike is deployed to Iraq, it VERY helpful having someone around who knows what its like. Mike is luckier then Shane and gets to call alot but its helpful just to have her near. She thinks I help her out or so she said today but its just nice being around my friends. I have two finals next week AND I GRADUATE. I can't wait. I will have my B.S. in Community Health Education- which I may go back right now and try to get another degree with a secondary education degree with it so that I can teach! I may also try and get a complete minor in Business....we will see. I need to work again. I am pulling my hair out while not working but with the last few months of trying to fulfil my internship requirements as well as school and life in general it just didn't work. Thankfully we were blessed to be taken care of for a bit but its time now that I work and I do really miss it.
I FINALLY heard from Shane- I hadn't heard his voice in over a month. Email every day almost but not his voiec. Oh let me tell you it was Heaven! He is just amazing, he provides such a peace to me. He is tired, cold and its taken over 3 weeks for a package to get to him which I am not sure he still has. He is doing a lot of combat missions- NOT SAFE- but I have a peace with me that he will be taken care of. Please keep him in your prayers and those of others deployed that they will all return safe. He was happy though- he misses home and is counting down to our vacatoin that we are taking together- which will be a heaven sent gift, I can't wait for. It will be much over due and the start of our life together. He deployed two months after we were married so its been a little odd; however it is a life I would never trade. His love for me and the love and support that he gives me I could never trade. He is my other half, I miss him but he is always there with me. Okay enough about the hubby, just wanted you all to know he is safe for the time being!
I have seen my friend Candice who has the CUTEST chile who I get to watch this thursday. I have spent time with Erika and her 2nd grade class- which makes me want to teach. I saw my friend Aimee who bless her soul has been going through so much but as I get older it makes me think that nothing ever really gets easier....She is a tough girl though.
I may do the Mrs. Utah pagent, my cousin was Mrs. Utah 2007, its something I think that would provide me with confidence and chance to step COMPLETELY out of my bubble which is soo not me. I was never nor have I ever been thought of as a PAGENT girl. I think though it will get my big butt in shape, my friend Dustin will train me. Dannel has me on a diet and I am doing well. TWO DAYS IN woo hoo! hahaha Not too far, but lately I have been struggling more so with the whole confidence thing and I just think this will place me out of my shell and give me the swift kick in the butt!
I have been thinking a lot about friends lately. I used to be surrounded a lot- I think it was the environment. However there are people I have always turned to and I continue and for some reason I have a tendoncy to take people for granted find new ones who ALWAYS hurt me and then I shut down and push people out even more. However lately - say the last 6 months-I have really learned who my true real friends are. Some I don't talk to all the time but to see them and have a good talk every once in awhile its amazing, I know they will always be there. Some are old roommates with kids who live in Utah or Idaho and that I never see but I know they are always there. Some have known me since I was little like 12 and regardless we can always meet up for dinner and our homes are always welcome to each other. Money may be tighter this day for some but love and laughter is free and we can ALWAYS freely give it if we allow ourselves. I am truely thankful for these individuals though it is hard for me to express my feelings always and I don't get to see some a lot but I know that regardless of the time that passes they are true and they will be there forever and at any time. I hope that I can continue to form new friendships and continually improve the others and make them stronger.
I hope everyone has a wonderful Holiday season- hug your loved ones and tell them you love them because for some they aren't with us this year.
Health, wealth and love! Jessie Hayes
